Building the Mentor–Mentee Relationship

It may seem simple: two people meeting around an activity. But in reality, a trusting mentor–mentee relationship takes:

• Patience
• Attention to cultural nuance
• Emotional presence
• Time and consistency

For many migrant women, life experiences (trauma, discrimination, cultural norms) may create invisible walls — trust cannot be assumed. It must be built.

Trust doesn’t begin with big gestures — it grows in the small, consistent moments.

What helps:

• Ask, don’t push: “Would you like to talk about that?” is better than “Tell me more.”
• Share small, human details: “I also get nervous in new places.”
• Follow through on small promises: if you said you’d bring a flyer or arrive at 5 PM — do it.
• Allow silence: sometimes presence is more important than words.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about that right now” isn’t rejection — it’s honesty.

Listening isn’t passive — it’s an active form of respect. It means:

• Not interrupting
• Not offering immediate solutions
• Acknowledging the other person’s emotional reality

Phrases that validate:

• “Thank you for trusting me with that.”
• “It sounds like you’ve been through a lot.”
• “Your feelings make sense.”

Remember: Validating ≠ Agreeing. It simply means: “I see what you’re feeling, and that matters.”

The body often speaks louder than words — but meanings vary. Examples to keep in mind:

• Avoiding eye contact = respect (not defiance)
• Physical distance = comfort (not rejection)
• Touch may feel intrusive
• Smiling can help — but don’t force it

Practical Tip: Ask: “Is this way of talking okay for you?” Adapt posture, tone, and space — don’t assume.

Not every meeting will flow. And that’s okay.

You may face:

• Silence or withdrawal
• Emotional breakdowns
• Cultural misunderstandings

How to respond:

• “We can pause. Let’s take a moment.”
• “I may not have the answers, but I’m here with you.”
• “Would you like to share what’s on your mind — or just sit together for now?”

If something feels beyond your scope, it’s okay to reach out to:

• Program coordinators
• Local support services
• Peer mentors

Support doesn’t mean solving — it means holding space.

Use these to train mentors or reflect on challenges in real life.

Scenario 1:
Mentee: “I can’t come to the sport activities. My husband doesn’t allow it.”
Mentor might say: “I hear you. That sounds really difficult. Would you like to think together about other ways you could be involved — ones that feel comfortable and safe for you right now?”

Scenario 2:
Mentee doesn’t speak during the first few meetings.
Mentor might say: “It’s okay to take your time. We don’t have to talk today — we can just be here together. I’m happy to walk with you or sit and watch.”

Mentorship is not about:

• Having all the right answers
• Forcing quick connection
• Avoiding hard emotions

It is about:

• Being real
• Being steady
• Being someone the mentee can safely be themselves with

Quick Quiz – Multiple Choice

Real case scenarios for the learner to reflect upon

• Situation 1: The mentee doesn’t speak at all during the first three meetings. What would you do?
• Situation 2: The mentee shares a painful story and becomes emotional. How do you respond with validation and care?

You’ll see feedback immediately after selecting an option. Reset to try again.

• Trust is built in presence, not performance.
• Listening is a skill — and a gift.
• Validation doesn’t fix pain, but it honors it.
• Every relationship unfolds differently — and that’s okay.